The Lord’s Watchful Eye And Deliverance

It has been a long break from updating and writing but God’s mighty hand at work has never taken a break in my life. A month of 2014 has passed, how swift! It was as if the Christmas celebration of 2013 was just last week!!!

I am delighted, relieved and have a sense of triumph to have completed the main task there and to return for good from my posting to India. The feat in India was never a breeze, however, the Lord’s presence made it possible for me, Hallelujah!

Through It all, God has proven Himself in many ways and I have been so touched by Him and His protection, care and concern.

My many trips to BSF more than an hour away from home by myself by public transport have had been under his watchful eyes. Those were the times of refreshing, discussing and listening to His word and most of the time untied the knots of query and disappointment over issues that weighed upon my heart. He knew best to deliver and comfort me in ways that lifted me up and kept me going on the passion of touching His people. Some lines would come back to my mind during those times, and one of them is, ‘he has anointed me to bring good news to the afflicted; He has sent me to ………..

to be continued..

God is ALL POWERFUL releases me

Yesterday and today a lot of girls came for admission for our English class. I had to turn away about eight or nine girls after a simple alphabet test yesterday. Today again more than twenty girls were in this new class. Again another test and we had to turn away another seven or eight girls. Among today’s girls, two came with a mother and it was the third time this family came. Before the mother left she told my trainee teacher not to turn away her daughters because they want to learn though they are weak. Yesterday’s class was twenty-six girls. I felt bad having to turn them away. And today again! Somehow I kept thinking that they are also being turned away from hearing the good news. At the same time it is not beneficial both to the students and the teacher if we take in all the girls (whom are of different English competence). My target was twelve in each class and now I have stretched it to fifteen in each class.

After the class, the trainee teacher told one of the students that she had turned away her brother because he did not pass the alphabet test. The girl started to plead with the teacher and the teacher explained to her that her brother has to buck up and join the next admission exercise two or three months later. The girl started tearing and kept pleading and saying that their father will beat up the brother if he is turned away from our class. The teacher then told the girl to explain to her father also. However, the girl started crying all the more and kept pleading with the teacher not to turn her brother away else their father will beat him up mercilessly and that their father does not listen or try to understand. My heart went out to this girl and to the bad feelings accumulated from yesterday and today; tears began to fill my eyes too. I remember the verse, “Do not withhold good from those to whom it is due, when it is in your power to act “ Proverbs 3:27

WWJD? Would he turn away the good ones and hold onto the weak ones? Or would he act like I did? ‘to whom it is due” what is the definition of this? I was also trying hard to fulfill working out this verse when I was working in an orphanage in Cambodia.
WWJD – if I did not do what I did yesterday and today, then I will be withholding good from those who passed the alphabet test…..? in a candid way my main concern is that they are turned away from coming into contact with the good news. That broke my heart. Just like the girl’s heart broke when she heard that her brother was not accepted into our English class….. to her she sees her father’s merciless beating, which I consider it temporarily as painful and unbearable versus the eternal destiny of the students who do not get to come in our centre.

I was then reminded of how the Lord prepared Joseph for the heavy task ahead in Egypt (in bsf). The Lord’s sovereignty planned and put Joseph at the right place at the perfect timing. Nothing is impossible with Him, I just have to do the right thing and I hope I am doing the right thing and the great and mighty One will do the rest! Hallelujah!

Violation

The first time in my adult life my purse was stolen and that in broad daylight! I was very much affected by the incident. I was running through my mind if only I have had done this or that…. And as I was running through the event, I could not understand why I could stay in that shop that long. If only I had left that shop once I finished my purchase, I would have had saved my purse and my depressing emotions.

I was surprised myself how emotionally low I could plunge! It was not a big loss monetarily and also none of my cards were there. However, somehow I was very depressed. And after talking it over with a friend who is truthful and sincere (not very common here), I recognized that it is very common here to be pickpocketed; her purse was pickpocketed too! She was the one who revealed to me that it was a violation of my right! Suddenly the vocabulary, ‘violation’ made sense to me and answered my query.

It was then that I realized my reason for the emotional turmoil within myself. At the same time, God was teaching me more about myself, especially my weaknesses and my response towards Him and the culprits.

It was also through this incident that I discovered children as young as ten years old steal. And stealing is very common here. As I was talking to my students, they also narrated to me that they lost a lot of things, ranging from exercise books to cash. I even came to know that a friend of my friend’s whole bag was stolen!


This is a big part of stress being here, having to be always alert when I am out. On the other hand, it is also a test of my trust in Him and how much I look to Him for help and solution, protection and safety.

Permanence.......

Guzhang is gone.
The familiar vitamin shop that I go every six months when I return is gone.
People expect me to be what I was before I left/what I should be (since they are).
It was the mercy and grace of Jesus to bring my guzhang to be with Him. It was unexpected but it had come to pass that my guzhang asked Jesus to save him.
The stubborness of my aunty not to grant my uncle's wish at his death bed shocked me.

Singapore is a merciless place, she expects her people to take care of themselves; she moves on and you are left behind, she does not wait for you, you have to catch up, and that on your own initiative, own effort, own strength.

The only permanence is the love of God and His presence. Rom 8:38-39.
Only He is the same yesterday today and tomorrow (Heb 13:8).
And very sweetly, He will never leave you nor forsake you (Heb 13:5).

Upon landing at the airport, news of my good friend's father passing away struck me.
This very good friend had been my pillar of support when I was going through spiritual attacks and she, besides praying for me helped me in practical ways. I wanted to be the support for her at her declining moments too. Thus, the next day after landing at the airport, I went to visit her at her father's wake.

It was great to see her again, and also to give her her birthday card; her dad's passing on is just a day before her birthday.


Prior to my friend's dad's passing on, I recalled my prayer of telling God to keep my uncle living till I would see him after knowing that he had only about 2-3months
to live.

Indeed, He has been very gracious and I could visit him twice on two consecutive days
before he went to be with Jesus, all to His mercy and grace.

My very good friend's father is gone and my uncle is gone. The familiar vitamin shop is gone too.

After a week of running around to wakes and hospice and finally to my uncle's funeral, I could settle down a little to rest, rest away the Indian fatigue. However, that too not for very long because I had to be moving house..... again; which accompanies adjustment to new environment and moving around again....

All these ununderstandable moving and changes made me question permanence.

I concluded it to be:
The love of God and His presence. Rom 8:38-39.
Only He is the same yesterday today and tomorrow (Heb 13:8).
And very sweetly, He will never leave you nor forsake you (Heb 13:5).

First Experiences

Witnessed a girl alighting from a bus and seconds later was pulled out from under the bus unscathed

Having six people, including me in a three-seater motor (three-wheeler) commuter, one on top of another

Attacked by a dengue mosquito

Bitten by a harmless creature and almost died

In a public mini van with 13 other men at night in Delhi

Went to Singapore Embassy in Delhi by public transport by myself

Applied for post-graduate studies in Delhi

Moving house three times in one month

Witnessed pee coming out from a man in public (on the street)

Attended BSF

Asked by a stranger for water in a metro (MRT)

Received unclaimed mailed package from home country

One hand fanning myself with a small stack of paper and one hand writing with a marker on a whiteboard teaching. It was summer time and the electricity failed!

: D

28 November

Pa, it has been 12 years since you left us.

Have been wanting to ask you, ‘how are you?’

Thinking of wanting to have a chat with you

To tell you about my venture to Cambodia

And now India

Would you approve of my ‘going into’ community work?

I’m pretty sure you would as you had always been supportive of me

Since the time I asked if I could learn Taekwondo.

You had been supportive of my decisions because you trusted my wisdom

Or because you doted on me that you did not want me to be disappointed

I’m still praying that I’ll see you in heaven

So that I can see you again and we can have a catch-up

Closing the Gap

Though the road seems tough and hard to please
Society has changed with man-made twist
The world we live is distant from perfect Eden
Man has taken on the unnecessary burdens

Standing firm and carrying our cross
Holding tight we complete our cause
Seeking His Word, His standards we live
Facing the world we meet their needs

With purest simplicity breaking from complexity
May we live His purpose with eternal longevity
No more quarrels, no more tears
Time is running
The Lord is coming

Do what is purposed quenching every thirst
Be the link you need to be
Be the one God made to be


Poem by Sir Knight Yeap - Inspirational collections by His grace