M deeply thankful

June 2015 marks my return to Sgp: Two years. Not a long time and not short either. God's goodness in my life:

I visited Mauritius in July 2013
Seoul and Jeju in Nov 2013
Guangzhou, Huizhou and Xiamen in Dec 2014
Perth in Apr 2014
New Zealand in Dec 2014
Taiwan in Apr 2015
Japan in May-June 2015.

God restores

Belated Blessed Christmas! And blessed 2015!!!
It has been more than 46 million seconds since I returned from the missions field. God, please forgive me that it took me so long to 'publicise' your goodness, faithfulness and love to me upon my return. They have been so real to me, more than at my return, especially so when I was in Cambodia and then, India. Lord, you have been so wonderful.

Knowing very well I won't have the energy, emotional, mental and physical to stay in my own house, You provided my aunt's house for me. Not the best at that time, but at least, a place for me to be safe and rest and recuperate. It was tough, Lord, returning and settling in. I have certainly changed and Sgp has also changed and people around me too. Yet, Lord, You did not change, You have always been faithful, loving and providing. Besides the accommodation at my aunt's place, you provided friends whom I could go Seoul with and family whom I could go Guangzhou and Huizhou with. Finally, premature to my plan, You provided a job for me!

Praise You, too, Lord, at the right time You gave me energy to terminate my tenant and retrofit my house and ready me and my friend helpers to move into my house, a house which I could call my own and be able to do things the way I want it and the way I like it. Simultaneously, not to have to feel obligated to do/ not do things, unlike staying at my aunt's house. I could be free like a bird! Thank You, Abba.

I also want to give praise and thanks to You for providing me very kind, helpful and pleasant colleagues to help me in my transition back to my home country through the vocation You provided me in SIT. Thank You, Jesus, Abba Father and Holy Spirit.

An event which marveled me and brought much joy and confidence to me in human beings once again was the Ensure milk powder delivery man. I ordered a dozen tins of milk and the delivery man delivered the tins of powder to my aunt's house without collecting cash or cheque. I didn't have enough cash to pay up and told him I could transfer the money to him later when I get to a cash withdrawal machine. He believed me and left the carton of milk powder and his bank account number with me. I was pleasantly astonished and felt comforted and assured people who trust others are around in this world after all! I have heard too many swindle stories and encountered a few of them personally while living in Delhi. These events were draining to my emotional strength and made me feel very stupid. As a result, it has grown in me a resistance to trust people. God, You bothered to bring about such an event to my life as You knew it mattered to me and it mattered to You that I have difficulty trusting people. Praise You, Lord, You are a wonderful Restorer and sensitive Father. I know I am safe in Your big sweet hands. Thanks, Abba.



As though these were not enough, You led the dean of ACTI to plan and organize a missionary-returnee retreat to further Your work of renewing and restoring me. Thank you, Lord, for helping me to know I am still in the process of transiting back and settling in to my home country. It is not easy, Lord, but I know You are with me and that alone is enough. More than enough to prepare me to be an even better instrument for Your use and glory at your timing. At the retreat and after, I was really relieved and happy to know some people took 2.5 years to be settled in and some took 3 years and are still not settled in. Am hearteningly relaxed to know I am normal. Fantastic!

On this Christmas Day, I want to thank You once again, Jesus, for coming as a humble man to identify with us and to be one of us to bring us to God!!! Thank You and thank You, Lord, and, HAPPY BIRTHDAY, Jesus!

Continued from, The Lord's Watchful Eye and Deliverance

My sincere apologies for my delayed post


He has sent me to bind up the broken hearted, to proclaim liberty to captives and freedom to prisoners Isa 61:1

I remember vividly this was the passage I received to go New Delhi. Indeed, the people need freedom from poverty and most importantly, to have the liberty to encounter Him.

'............. and I will be with you always, to the very end of the age.' Matt 28:20b
I have the privilege to experience that as I obeyed and went on account of Isa 61:1 and Matt 28:18-20.
The Lord watches over me in little things too.

I remember clearly once when I was due to fly back to my home country for visa extension; it was on Boxing Day and as usual, Delhi was too foggy to have enough visibility to fly, and flights were delayed and mine as well, with no exception. An announcement came after a few hours of waiting beyond the etd. Air India personnel told passengers three options were given:

1: Passengers could go back to their homes and return to airport when the sky clears and taxi charges shall be reimbursed.
2. Go on a bus provided by Air India to a hotel and stay for the night, costs borne by the airline.
3. Stay in the hotel and breakfast will be provided for all passengers.

This was what was provided by most of the other airlines which flights were delayed. I called up my team leader and asked for advice. He suggested me to go and stay in the hotel.

I took the advice and went with the whole throng of people supposedly to go to the car park to board the bus to the hotel.

As we set off I met a Tibetan couple and they had difficulty trying to understand what was going on as they did not understand English and Hindi. I translated for them to Mandarin and explained to them what was going on and they decided to follow us to head for the hotel.

As we were moving on, I sensed something tugging me not to go to the hotel. I ignored it and the tugging returned time and again. As we were at the exit point of the airport, the officers were pulling the tags that were attached to our baggage and the prompting not to leave the airport was so convincing that I backed out and picked up the one tag that was detached from my bag. I told the Tibetan couple to go ahead and I proceeded back into the airport to search for a long bench which I could lie down and rest.

With many flights delayed many passengers were left at the airport and despite that, God reserved one long bench for me where I could drop my baggage and lie down to rest.

The next morning, I ran into some passengers who decided to go to the hotel and I eagerly asked how was their hotel stay. To my shock, they revealed that they were made to walk around the car park many times and there was no bus at all to bring them to the promised hotel!!! They were stranded outside the airport and they could not come back into the airport for reasons I could not comprehend. I PRAISE THE LORD for His protection and care! God cared so much for me to speak to me so that I could rest and most importantly and consequently, have one less dislike about India.

As I look back, now having returned for about 16months, I can never forget His many other sweetness and watchful eye over me, in little little things and in the bigger things.
He is the everlasting God, The Lord, the Creator of the ends of the earth. Isa 40:28.

Exemplary man

I received the news on 'Whats App' that a man I respected n looked up to had passed away. Though I was not close to him, I felt a sense of loss for the world. Yet I am certainly convinced he has gone to a much better place and for that I'm truly, from the bottom of my heart, very very happy for him.

Though paralyzed from head down after an accident, he went to visit an orphanage that I was helping to run. He came in a wheelchair to the orphanage to encourage the staff and children. Some of the staff who met him before when he was well couldn't help but wept (not in his presence) when they saw him. During devotion he encouraged us in the word n love of God. I was surprised n impressed when he said he was also going to the village to do rice distribution. Before going to the village he asked me how to say, 'God bless you' in Khmer. I told him and he practiced it on his own.

At the village, in a wheelchair, he did whatever he could. He clapped his weak hands, shook hands with whoever came his way and said, 'prae ong protean poa', which means, 'God bless you' in the Cambodian language. I couldn't help but marvel at his heart to love people n to show His love to the people around him in whatever limited way he could.

I thought a paralyzed man would be too absorbed in his own misery n self-pity to take notice of people more mobile and normal than him. But not him. This man who has God in his heart knew his inheritance, destiny and purpose in life. And he simply lived it out. Besides volunteering himself to visit the orphanage and the village, he gave generously financial support to to the running of the orphanage. Again, this extinct selfless man did not choose to hog the money for himself, especially at a time where he needed money most and he had no means of earning any money back, he gave sacrificially, like God did. What an exemplary life!

Thank you, Mr Ling Swee Chan; God once again led me to experience for myself there was this faithful man who loved God, showed God and gave sacrificially to God's work. I praise The Lord for your life and thank Him for helping me to begin to be willing to want to trust in man again.

The Lord’s Watchful Eye And Deliverance

It has been a long break from updating and writing but God’s mighty hand at work has never taken a break in my life. A month of 2014 has passed, how swift! It was as if the Christmas celebration of 2013 was just last week!!!

I am delighted, relieved and have a sense of triumph to have completed the main task there and to return for good from my posting to India. The feat in India was never a breeze, however, the Lord’s presence made it possible for me, Hallelujah!

Through It all, God has proven Himself in many ways and I have been so touched by Him and His protection, care and concern.

My many trips to BSF more than an hour away from home by myself by public transport have had been under his watchful eyes. Those were the times of refreshing, discussing and listening to His word and most of the time untied the knots of query and disappointment over issues that weighed upon my heart. He knew best to deliver and comfort me in ways that lifted me up and kept me going on the passion of touching His people. Some lines would come back to my mind during those times, and one of them is, ‘he has anointed me to bring good news to the afflicted; He has sent me to ………..

to be continued..

God is ALL POWERFUL releases me

Yesterday and today a lot of girls came for admission for our English class. I had to turn away about eight or nine girls after a simple alphabet test yesterday. Today again more than twenty girls were in this new class. Again another test and we had to turn away another seven or eight girls. Among today’s girls, two came with a mother and it was the third time this family came. Before the mother left she told my trainee teacher not to turn away her daughters because they want to learn though they are weak. Yesterday’s class was twenty-six girls. I felt bad having to turn them away. And today again! Somehow I kept thinking that they are also being turned away from hearing the good news. At the same time it is not beneficial both to the students and the teacher if we take in all the girls (whom are of different English competence). My target was twelve in each class and now I have stretched it to fifteen in each class.

After the class, the trainee teacher told one of the students that she had turned away her brother because he did not pass the alphabet test. The girl started to plead with the teacher and the teacher explained to her that her brother has to buck up and join the next admission exercise two or three months later. The girl started tearing and kept pleading and saying that their father will beat up the brother if he is turned away from our class. The teacher then told the girl to explain to her father also. However, the girl started crying all the more and kept pleading with the teacher not to turn her brother away else their father will beat him up mercilessly and that their father does not listen or try to understand. My heart went out to this girl and to the bad feelings accumulated from yesterday and today; tears began to fill my eyes too. I remember the verse, “Do not withhold good from those to whom it is due, when it is in your power to act “ Proverbs 3:27

WWJD? Would he turn away the good ones and hold onto the weak ones? Or would he act like I did? ‘to whom it is due” what is the definition of this? I was also trying hard to fulfill working out this verse when I was working in an orphanage in Cambodia.
WWJD – if I did not do what I did yesterday and today, then I will be withholding good from those who passed the alphabet test…..? in a candid way my main concern is that they are turned away from coming into contact with the good news. That broke my heart. Just like the girl’s heart broke when she heard that her brother was not accepted into our English class….. to her she sees her father’s merciless beating, which I consider it temporarily as painful and unbearable versus the eternal destiny of the students who do not get to come in our centre.

I was then reminded of how the Lord prepared Joseph for the heavy task ahead in Egypt (in bsf). The Lord’s sovereignty planned and put Joseph at the right place at the perfect timing. Nothing is impossible with Him, I just have to do the right thing and I hope I am doing the right thing and the great and mighty One will do the rest! Hallelujah!

Violation

The first time in my adult life my purse was stolen and that in broad daylight! I was very much affected by the incident. I was running through my mind if only I have had done this or that…. And as I was running through the event, I could not understand why I could stay in that shop that long. If only I had left that shop once I finished my purchase, I would have had saved my purse and my depressing emotions.

I was surprised myself how emotionally low I could plunge! It was not a big loss monetarily and also none of my cards were there. However, somehow I was very depressed. And after talking it over with a friend who is truthful and sincere (not very common here), I recognized that it is very common here to be pickpocketed; her purse was pickpocketed too! She was the one who revealed to me that it was a violation of my right! Suddenly the vocabulary, ‘violation’ made sense to me and answered my query.

It was then that I realized my reason for the emotional turmoil within myself. At the same time, God was teaching me more about myself, especially my weaknesses and my response towards Him and the culprits.

It was also through this incident that I discovered children as young as ten years old steal. And stealing is very common here. As I was talking to my students, they also narrated to me that they lost a lot of things, ranging from exercise books to cash. I even came to know that a friend of my friend’s whole bag was stolen!


This is a big part of stress being here, having to be always alert when I am out. On the other hand, it is also a test of my trust in Him and how much I look to Him for help and solution, protection and safety.