I remember two years ago, about this time, I was full of passion and excitement about the new venture in my life, embarking into something I thought was what I wanted very much to do.
However, now, it has become a past, a pleasant past and a great experience of discovering people, different types of people and a wonderful learning experience about God and His unfailing love and presence. Jesus is always, always so so good.
Two years may seem very long. It can also be like a blink of an eye.
One of the significant chapters of my life is in the prelude stage and the new chapter opens to yet more unknowns and savouring experiences to the Only One Great God, Jesus Christ.
Monday, April 14, 2008
Monday, November 12, 2007
Another Testing
I was filled with some sort of excitement and anticipation to be embarking on my new job scope on my way back after my one-month break on 30Oct.
However, as if to kill my excitement and anticipation, the news of my new colleague leaving dawned upon me the night I landed back in Cambodia, Phnom Penh in Tokyo Hotel. My heart sank to the deepest pit and the sense of unease and demoralization set in my heart, engulfing the excitement and wiping out my anticipation to be back. It lasted for about two days.
The Lord had been silent about this new testing of my trust in Him. I thought I would receive some encouragement from His Word, but none. But I was reminded of God’s sovereignty and that His purposes prevail. I brought back the sweet moments I had with Him in Cameron Highlands during my break back home and the verses, ‘for it is God who works in me to will and to act according to His good purpose’; Phi 2:13 and ‘Not that we are competent in ourselves to claim anything for ourselves, but our competence comes from God.’, 2Cor 3:5.
Reflecting on His words comforted me and gave me a new sense of hope and looking forward to what is ahead. Though I accept the reasons my colleague gave me for leaving, I could not comprehend God’s hand in this.
On the other hand, I could learn some valuable lesson from my new colleague and her family. God has His purposes to mould me and He sent her to do a certain part in me, just like He always does. Praise the Lord!
However, as if to kill my excitement and anticipation, the news of my new colleague leaving dawned upon me the night I landed back in Cambodia, Phnom Penh in Tokyo Hotel. My heart sank to the deepest pit and the sense of unease and demoralization set in my heart, engulfing the excitement and wiping out my anticipation to be back. It lasted for about two days.
The Lord had been silent about this new testing of my trust in Him. I thought I would receive some encouragement from His Word, but none. But I was reminded of God’s sovereignty and that His purposes prevail. I brought back the sweet moments I had with Him in Cameron Highlands during my break back home and the verses, ‘for it is God who works in me to will and to act according to His good purpose’; Phi 2:13 and ‘Not that we are competent in ourselves to claim anything for ourselves, but our competence comes from God.’, 2Cor 3:5.
Reflecting on His words comforted me and gave me a new sense of hope and looking forward to what is ahead. Though I accept the reasons my colleague gave me for leaving, I could not comprehend God’s hand in this.
On the other hand, I could learn some valuable lesson from my new colleague and her family. God has His purposes to mould me and He sent her to do a certain part in me, just like He always does. Praise the Lord!
Simplicity in Cam...
Simplicity is the word I can describe Cameron (Highlands) and Cambodia. While in Cameron, the sense of similarity between these two places grew more affirmative and after some thought and observation, simplicity is the word. They are simple, their lives are simple and their environment is simple; they are not complicated, not stressful, not crowded.
However, their similarity in simplicity also exists between them a big difference.
‘Cameronians’ are people who want to be self-sufficient, they are people who want to depend on themselves, they are people who want to work hard and survive and to survive well.
Cambodians are people who tend to think that people around them owe them. They think that they deserve to be helped, they think that they have the right to receive something from someone. They are not independent, they are not hardworking and they only want to survive.
The similarity of simplicity is apparent and likewise amidst the simplicity, there is inherent the respectable difference for the Cameronians.
However, their similarity in simplicity also exists between them a big difference.
‘Cameronians’ are people who want to be self-sufficient, they are people who want to depend on themselves, they are people who want to work hard and survive and to survive well.
Cambodians are people who tend to think that people around them owe them. They think that they deserve to be helped, they think that they have the right to receive something from someone. They are not independent, they are not hardworking and they only want to survive.
The similarity of simplicity is apparent and likewise amidst the simplicity, there is inherent the respectable difference for the Cameronians.
Thursday, October 4, 2007
God is Faithful. God is Good
I survived my third term!!! Praise the Lord!
It is so good to be back for my break. And of course, as i look back, i could see vivdly the footprints of the Lord as i journeyed through the last six months.
The last six months were the most hectic and challenging. But the presence of God had been real and comforting. How true with what Paul had said, "His grace is sufficient for me........" 2Cor 12:9.
Praise the Lord and may i grow in the love, knowledge and submission to His will!
3Oct 2007
It is so good to be back for my break. And of course, as i look back, i could see vivdly the footprints of the Lord as i journeyed through the last six months.
The last six months were the most hectic and challenging. But the presence of God had been real and comforting. How true with what Paul had said, "His grace is sufficient for me........" 2Cor 12:9.
Praise the Lord and may i grow in the love, knowledge and submission to His will!
3Oct 2007
Friday, June 22, 2007
God is present!
Time flies and I have been here in Cambodia, Prey Veng orphanage for one year and more than one month. I have learnt precious lessons I otherwise would not have learnt through coming here. God has been very real and very good. He has been carrying me through well and healthy.
A month ago I just bade farewell to my co-worker who has to leave prematurely due to an unexpected surgery she has to undergo. I am still wondering why the Lord allowed the sudden turn of events in my life. I know God has His best plans for me, “For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.”
All of a sudden I have to take on two roles. But God is good, again. He sent a volunteer to co-work with me for a month plus. My boss is nice too. He also arranged another volunteer to come in for another month after the present volunteer leaves. I realized I have grown a little more. Instead of fretting and lamenting the turn of events, I had the confidence that God will only put me through what He knows I can take and as the volunteer reminded me, “His grace is sufficient for you”.
After taking on the responsibility of planning for devotion for the children and youth more than three months ago, I thank God for giving me wisdom and a team of spiritually interested staff to run the devotion together. And I praise God for bringing seven children to receive Him during one of the altar calls! Praise the Lord! Though we are a Christian orphanage I can never know if my children here have accepted Jesus into their lives wholeheartedly. They sing grace, they pray and they listen to God’s word but only God knows what is deep inside their hearts. Likewise for my staff, the things they say and do only God knows their hearts. In Cambodia, it is all about survival. SURVIVAL is a BIG word. Some of my staff here had been through Pol Pot and they have survived, and I am sure they understand survival a lot more than I do.
Therefore, with this reality, I know that my testimony here is crucial. I can ‘bring’ them closer to our Abba or further away from them. I am watched by my staff and my children, all 118 of them together. And there are still more to come. But God is my strength and my goal to live to please Him.
I seek your prayer support as follows:
1) God will expose the works of the Evil One in our midst. And my children will choose the wise thing to do – to love and obey God.
We (I together with the volunteer) have been handling theft cases within my orphanage. Our children have been found stealing from us and taking the stolen things to sell in the market. One particular child is the staff’s son and the staff has been condoning this behaviour and this boy has had repeated offences. We wanted to have a public caning and I threatened to want to go to the police but because the staff (husband and wife) insisted that they did not want the above punishment, we had to give in to their request and gave him a very diluted punishment. Moreover, because of the fact that I know of it, the mother (also my staff) went to the Ministry of Social Affairs and complained about me. She did likewise to the previous Operations Manager when the manager found out that her son stole from us.
2) God grants me wisdom to question and investigate the theft cases. (One photo printer was lost when a church team came for about a week to minister to our children and staff.)
3) God grants me wisdom to counsel and help the houseparents and our children to desire to love God and grow to be like Him.
4) God will work in us, all the staff, to give us unity to work together for the healthy growth of the children-spiritually, intellectually, emotionally, socially and physically.
As I reflect about all the happenings in my life now, it seems quite dark. The church team who was here told me that when she was praying for me, she saw a dark cloud above me. I just realized that I am very vulnerable to attacks and I think it is the position that I am in, taking charge of 14 staff and 104 children. But I also know that God’s will and power prevail. I know that I will have the ultimate victory because our Lord Christ Jesus has already won the victory! For now, I just have to plough on and look up to my Lord, the Creator and Lover of all.
Thank you for partnering with me in prayers. Your prayers mean a lot to me.
A month ago I just bade farewell to my co-worker who has to leave prematurely due to an unexpected surgery she has to undergo. I am still wondering why the Lord allowed the sudden turn of events in my life. I know God has His best plans for me, “For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.”
All of a sudden I have to take on two roles. But God is good, again. He sent a volunteer to co-work with me for a month plus. My boss is nice too. He also arranged another volunteer to come in for another month after the present volunteer leaves. I realized I have grown a little more. Instead of fretting and lamenting the turn of events, I had the confidence that God will only put me through what He knows I can take and as the volunteer reminded me, “His grace is sufficient for you”.
After taking on the responsibility of planning for devotion for the children and youth more than three months ago, I thank God for giving me wisdom and a team of spiritually interested staff to run the devotion together. And I praise God for bringing seven children to receive Him during one of the altar calls! Praise the Lord! Though we are a Christian orphanage I can never know if my children here have accepted Jesus into their lives wholeheartedly. They sing grace, they pray and they listen to God’s word but only God knows what is deep inside their hearts. Likewise for my staff, the things they say and do only God knows their hearts. In Cambodia, it is all about survival. SURVIVAL is a BIG word. Some of my staff here had been through Pol Pot and they have survived, and I am sure they understand survival a lot more than I do.
Therefore, with this reality, I know that my testimony here is crucial. I can ‘bring’ them closer to our Abba or further away from them. I am watched by my staff and my children, all 118 of them together. And there are still more to come. But God is my strength and my goal to live to please Him.
I seek your prayer support as follows:
1) God will expose the works of the Evil One in our midst. And my children will choose the wise thing to do – to love and obey God.
We (I together with the volunteer) have been handling theft cases within my orphanage. Our children have been found stealing from us and taking the stolen things to sell in the market. One particular child is the staff’s son and the staff has been condoning this behaviour and this boy has had repeated offences. We wanted to have a public caning and I threatened to want to go to the police but because the staff (husband and wife) insisted that they did not want the above punishment, we had to give in to their request and gave him a very diluted punishment. Moreover, because of the fact that I know of it, the mother (also my staff) went to the Ministry of Social Affairs and complained about me. She did likewise to the previous Operations Manager when the manager found out that her son stole from us.
2) God grants me wisdom to question and investigate the theft cases. (One photo printer was lost when a church team came for about a week to minister to our children and staff.)
3) God grants me wisdom to counsel and help the houseparents and our children to desire to love God and grow to be like Him.
4) God will work in us, all the staff, to give us unity to work together for the healthy growth of the children-spiritually, intellectually, emotionally, socially and physically.
As I reflect about all the happenings in my life now, it seems quite dark. The church team who was here told me that when she was praying for me, she saw a dark cloud above me. I just realized that I am very vulnerable to attacks and I think it is the position that I am in, taking charge of 14 staff and 104 children. But I also know that God’s will and power prevail. I know that I will have the ultimate victory because our Lord Christ Jesus has already won the victory! For now, I just have to plough on and look up to my Lord, the Creator and Lover of all.
Thank you for partnering with me in prayers. Your prayers mean a lot to me.
Friday, May 11, 2007
Familiar Places with Fresh Thoughts
To go to Phnom Penh, I have to travel for about 2.5hours and also gota cross a river via a vehicle ferry. I have done that many times because I gota run errands and settle official matters in Phnom Penh.
On this particular day that I was on the way to Phnom Penh (via the public bus) and thereafter to travel to another village resort in another province, I saw things in a different perspective. Perhaps it is because I was traveling without work pressure at that time.
When I reached the ferry station, there was this throng of hawkers running towards our vehicle trying to sell their stuff. I used to ignore them and sometimes find them irritating. This time, as I watched them, I found that they were also very pitiful. Somehow I could pull myself away from being irritated and pitied them instead. It was like seeing things in a bigger picture, maybe it is something like a bird’s eye view and somehow reckon that their pestering to sell was survival for them.
And the view of overloaded vehicles are common on the road in Cambodia, especially vehicles going back to the provinces from Phnom Penh. Overloaded with people and goods vehicle are the norm and sometimes I cannot but feel that our vehicles in Singapore are all under used. A motor bike can take up to five people (with one child, inclusive). A Toyota Camry can take up to eight people, four in front and four at the back (and this is the norm) and sometimes they squeeze more than eight in a Toyota Camry!!!
Sometimes I wonder if I should be thankful to Singapore government for keeping law and order and make Singapore into a, ‘everything also cannot’ country or I should be frustrated with Cambodia government for being a, ‘everything also can’ country or be glad that Cambodia has a lot of freedom to do their things their way…..?
Yes, they have so much freedom that corruption is perennial and rampant! And also ‘legal’! The school teachers could outrightly ‘give’ the students exam questions before the exam and in return get an agreed ‘reward’. Students in the school can upkeep their first position in class with ‘special arrangement’. And governing authorities charge mercilessly for a building permit. And somehow, I have to ‘participate’ in this act of being charged mercilessly as my organization is undergoing a new construction for Hope Training Centre. I have been wondering, ‘What would Jesus do?’ I am left with no choice because this is the system, and if I do not comply, I cannot get the building permit! I realize that it is a lot easier to keep ‘righteousness’ back in my country in Singapore than in a third world country. I somehow feel that I am encouraging corruption…. Or perhaps this is just a different way of doing things in different countries? I do not know. WWJD…..?
As the bus journeys, vast expanse of padi fields are common sights. As I continue to gaze at the humungous stretch of land, my response (and I believe many Singaporeans’ response as well) was, ‘what a waste of land!’ But to the Cambodians, this is survival! Rice is of supreme importance to them. In my orphanage, we eat rice for breakfast, lunch and dinner. 365days of three meals – rice, and that is 1095 rice meals!!! And this is Cambodia.
On this particular day that I was on the way to Phnom Penh (via the public bus) and thereafter to travel to another village resort in another province, I saw things in a different perspective. Perhaps it is because I was traveling without work pressure at that time.
When I reached the ferry station, there was this throng of hawkers running towards our vehicle trying to sell their stuff. I used to ignore them and sometimes find them irritating. This time, as I watched them, I found that they were also very pitiful. Somehow I could pull myself away from being irritated and pitied them instead. It was like seeing things in a bigger picture, maybe it is something like a bird’s eye view and somehow reckon that their pestering to sell was survival for them.
And the view of overloaded vehicles are common on the road in Cambodia, especially vehicles going back to the provinces from Phnom Penh. Overloaded with people and goods vehicle are the norm and sometimes I cannot but feel that our vehicles in Singapore are all under used. A motor bike can take up to five people (with one child, inclusive). A Toyota Camry can take up to eight people, four in front and four at the back (and this is the norm) and sometimes they squeeze more than eight in a Toyota Camry!!!
Sometimes I wonder if I should be thankful to Singapore government for keeping law and order and make Singapore into a, ‘everything also cannot’ country or I should be frustrated with Cambodia government for being a, ‘everything also can’ country or be glad that Cambodia has a lot of freedom to do their things their way…..?
Yes, they have so much freedom that corruption is perennial and rampant! And also ‘legal’! The school teachers could outrightly ‘give’ the students exam questions before the exam and in return get an agreed ‘reward’. Students in the school can upkeep their first position in class with ‘special arrangement’. And governing authorities charge mercilessly for a building permit. And somehow, I have to ‘participate’ in this act of being charged mercilessly as my organization is undergoing a new construction for Hope Training Centre. I have been wondering, ‘What would Jesus do?’ I am left with no choice because this is the system, and if I do not comply, I cannot get the building permit! I realize that it is a lot easier to keep ‘righteousness’ back in my country in Singapore than in a third world country. I somehow feel that I am encouraging corruption…. Or perhaps this is just a different way of doing things in different countries? I do not know. WWJD…..?
As the bus journeys, vast expanse of padi fields are common sights. As I continue to gaze at the humungous stretch of land, my response (and I believe many Singaporeans’ response as well) was, ‘what a waste of land!’ But to the Cambodians, this is survival! Rice is of supreme importance to them. In my orphanage, we eat rice for breakfast, lunch and dinner. 365days of three meals – rice, and that is 1095 rice meals!!! And this is Cambodia.
Monday, April 30, 2007
Extended Time with my Lord
In response to my desire and longing to spend time with the Lord, I landed up in House of Prayer in Franciscan of Missionaries of Mary in Holland Road on 27 March afternoon.
Prior to going there, rest was priority in my schedule and indeed the Lord granted me great rest, like never before back in Cambodia! ; )
It was a refreshing time spending time resting and reading God’s word in my room in House of Prayer. It had been a long time since I had the chance to do so, simply spending time with our great God.
On 28 March, He captured my heart in Isa 43: 1:
‘he who created you, O Jacob
he who formed you, O Israel
“ Fear not, for I have redeemed you;
I have summoned you by name; you are mine.”
It kind of feels different when the Lord says, “You are mine“ to me than when I say, ‘I belong to Him’. It is so comforting, assuring and joyous to be told by the Lord of Lords and King of Kings that I am His.
On 29 March, I was once again reminded that Jesus intercedes for me. As I reflected on my struggling days, I recognized and acknowledged that the Lord has sustained me. And I know that it was possible because of Jesus’ interceding for me and my many friends and church members who have been interceding for me.
It was also revealed to me that our Lord works out everything in conformity with the purpose of His will…..for the praise of His glory. (Eph 1:11-12) When I first read that, it simply settled my disturbed emotion about what I was going through. It dawned upon me that God has His purposes for putting me through what i went through and I could settle my heart for the negative emotions. It was like giving me light to my blind spotted path. I reckon that it could also be a form of training for me and spiritual conditioning in my life. I thank God for speaking to me in this manner. I could then rest in Him and submit to His wonderful plans for me in my life. I have to learn not to allow myself to wallow in negative and unpleasant emotions but to always remind myself that God is with me and He is in control and He has His will and purposes in my life. Thank you Abba!
As I was dwelling on Ps 145, I praise God for:
1) His awesome works and great deeds (v6)
2) His abundant goodness and righteousness(v7)
3) He is gracious and compassionate (v8)
4) He is slow to anger and rich in love (v8)
5) He is good to all (v9)
6) He has compassion on all He has made. (v9)
7) His mighty acts
8) His dominion endures through all generations (v13)
9) He is faithful to all His promises (v13)
10) He is loving toward all He has made (v13)
11) He upholds all who fall and lifts up all who are bowed down (v14)
12) He gives His people their food at the proper time. (v15)
13) He satisfies the desires of every living thing (v16)
14) He is righteous in all His ways and loving toward all He has made (v17)
15) He is near to all who call on Him (v18)
16) He fulfills the desires of those who fear Him (v19)
17) He hears their cry (those who fear Him) and He saves them (v19)
18) He watches over all who love Him (v20).
With all the above, I knew deep inside me I needed a word of anchorage or an encounter to keep me in my low moments when it happens when I am out in the field. I thus asked the Lord for a ‘take home message’ to sustain me when I am back in Cambodia. My sweet Lord gave me more than one take home message!!! Again, I do not deserve it, but He gave! Praise God that He is so so gracious and generous.
First, He spoke through Phillipians to ‘press on’.
After that under very special circumstances, I bumped into my nephew by divine appointment! It happened in a lift of a condominium. God’s miraculous work of adjusting my timing and my nephew’s timing led us to ‘meet’ in the lift! I had not seen him for a long long time due to some family issues, and I was so joyous to be experiencing God’s miracles in my life in such a direct and amazing manner! I could not stop thanking and praising God for His supernatural work in arranging this special long-awaited encounter with my nephew. Praise the Lord!
A very similar and amazing encounter was bumping into my estranged sister in the most unexpected place, again, by divine appointment! My joy was bursting out when I recognized the beautiful hand of God giving me a pat or two on my back to give me a ‘take home message’.
It revealed the work of my miraculous Abba Father and His loving touch of answering my prayers to have a take-home message. He assured me that a miraculous Father can do anything that I cannot do or I am inadequate to do. I humbly thank Him and appreciate Him for His revelation to me to help me cross many hurdles to come in my life in Cambodia and beyond! Muack Abba! : )
Another special grace bestowed upon me was at the airport on my return trip to Cambodia where the check-in counter lady in Singapore did not charge me for overweight of check-in luggage. My luggage was overweight by 14.5kg!!! PRAISE PRAISE PRAISE THE LORD!
Prior to going there, rest was priority in my schedule and indeed the Lord granted me great rest, like never before back in Cambodia! ; )
It was a refreshing time spending time resting and reading God’s word in my room in House of Prayer. It had been a long time since I had the chance to do so, simply spending time with our great God.
On 28 March, He captured my heart in Isa 43: 1:
‘he who created you, O Jacob
he who formed you, O Israel
“ Fear not, for I have redeemed you;
I have summoned you by name; you are mine.”
It kind of feels different when the Lord says, “You are mine“ to me than when I say, ‘I belong to Him’. It is so comforting, assuring and joyous to be told by the Lord of Lords and King of Kings that I am His.
On 29 March, I was once again reminded that Jesus intercedes for me. As I reflected on my struggling days, I recognized and acknowledged that the Lord has sustained me. And I know that it was possible because of Jesus’ interceding for me and my many friends and church members who have been interceding for me.
It was also revealed to me that our Lord works out everything in conformity with the purpose of His will…..for the praise of His glory. (Eph 1:11-12) When I first read that, it simply settled my disturbed emotion about what I was going through. It dawned upon me that God has His purposes for putting me through what i went through and I could settle my heart for the negative emotions. It was like giving me light to my blind spotted path. I reckon that it could also be a form of training for me and spiritual conditioning in my life. I thank God for speaking to me in this manner. I could then rest in Him and submit to His wonderful plans for me in my life. I have to learn not to allow myself to wallow in negative and unpleasant emotions but to always remind myself that God is with me and He is in control and He has His will and purposes in my life. Thank you Abba!
As I was dwelling on Ps 145, I praise God for:
1) His awesome works and great deeds (v6)
2) His abundant goodness and righteousness(v7)
3) He is gracious and compassionate (v8)
4) He is slow to anger and rich in love (v8)
5) He is good to all (v9)
6) He has compassion on all He has made. (v9)
7) His mighty acts
8) His dominion endures through all generations (v13)
9) He is faithful to all His promises (v13)
10) He is loving toward all He has made (v13)
11) He upholds all who fall and lifts up all who are bowed down (v14)
12) He gives His people their food at the proper time. (v15)
13) He satisfies the desires of every living thing (v16)
14) He is righteous in all His ways and loving toward all He has made (v17)
15) He is near to all who call on Him (v18)
16) He fulfills the desires of those who fear Him (v19)
17) He hears their cry (those who fear Him) and He saves them (v19)
18) He watches over all who love Him (v20).
With all the above, I knew deep inside me I needed a word of anchorage or an encounter to keep me in my low moments when it happens when I am out in the field. I thus asked the Lord for a ‘take home message’ to sustain me when I am back in Cambodia. My sweet Lord gave me more than one take home message!!! Again, I do not deserve it, but He gave! Praise God that He is so so gracious and generous.
First, He spoke through Phillipians to ‘press on’.
After that under very special circumstances, I bumped into my nephew by divine appointment! It happened in a lift of a condominium. God’s miraculous work of adjusting my timing and my nephew’s timing led us to ‘meet’ in the lift! I had not seen him for a long long time due to some family issues, and I was so joyous to be experiencing God’s miracles in my life in such a direct and amazing manner! I could not stop thanking and praising God for His supernatural work in arranging this special long-awaited encounter with my nephew. Praise the Lord!
A very similar and amazing encounter was bumping into my estranged sister in the most unexpected place, again, by divine appointment! My joy was bursting out when I recognized the beautiful hand of God giving me a pat or two on my back to give me a ‘take home message’.
It revealed the work of my miraculous Abba Father and His loving touch of answering my prayers to have a take-home message. He assured me that a miraculous Father can do anything that I cannot do or I am inadequate to do. I humbly thank Him and appreciate Him for His revelation to me to help me cross many hurdles to come in my life in Cambodia and beyond! Muack Abba! : )
Another special grace bestowed upon me was at the airport on my return trip to Cambodia where the check-in counter lady in Singapore did not charge me for overweight of check-in luggage. My luggage was overweight by 14.5kg!!! PRAISE PRAISE PRAISE THE LORD!
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