Emotional exhaustion, physical tiredness and a forethought of having to part with the kids and staff had been choking me in the last few weeks of my service in the orphanage. And it got more intense on this memorable day.
I enjoyed my last moments with my last batch of children who did not get to go home for Khmer New Year at the nearby restaurant in the morning, the Cambodia province restaurant but by Singapore standard, it was a coffee shop. It was an enjoyable time to be able to be with them and see their cheerful faces for one last time in a small group setting. Bearing in mind that it will be my last time with this specific group of kids and it was their first time for most, in this restaurant.
I consider it the best time to depart. Khmer New Year is the most celebrated festive season in Cambodia and about 80% of the kids were home for Khmer New Year. Which means there were less than thirty children to part with. It was a lot bearable.
After a pleasant meal with my beloved kids, it was then packing and more last minute packing with interruptions of farewells from different people. I knew I was going to lose what I had been having for the past two years, the familiar smiles, laughter, the morning running of the lorry and the chattering and running of the children getting ready to go to school and much more. I felt like crying but the tears did not flow till the last moment.
It is still vivid in my mind he said a prayer for me by the white Ford and it was then that I could not bear it anymore and the tears came, and was glad it did not last long. I guess he knew what was in my heart and mind. I thank God for him. God has His purposes, always. I guess if not for him as the in-between and another volunteer turned friend by me, I would not have sustained till my last day. The volunteer turned friend had been with me helping me and supporting me in various ways, in ways I could not imagine how much I needed him. Or I would have had collapsed with dire consequences. I thank God for him as well and I appreciate him. Of course these are all a part of all Jesus’ sustaining grace, love and provision. He knows my needs and my limits and my weaknesses, a lot more than I know them.
“Even to your old age and grey hairs, I am He, I am He Who will sustain you. I have made you and I will carry you. I will sustain you and I will rescue you.” Isaiah 46:4
What do I miss most of Cambodia……..?
No comments:
Post a Comment