It seems so recent and I remember vividly that day I was at a friend’s church witnessing her baptism, it was at Paya Lebar Methodist Church and it was Bee Lian’s baptism.
At about 1pm I received a call from my aunty saying that my mum saw my dad fainted in the room with blood coming out of his nose. I quickly called for an ambulance and rushed to see my dad in a taxi with a few of my friends.
Upon arrival, I saw my dad lying sideway on the floor with dried blood on his moustache area. I touched his hand and it was cold, I wondered how long he had been in that position. Was it fated also that the residential line was faulty....? Do I actually believe in fate..? I don’t! But if the line had not been faulty, he could have been able to call and survived whatever he was suffering from...maybe....
The whole scenario of going to the crematorium and the events thereafter are still succinct in my memory. I remember I cried most when I was hugging his ashes with my brother driving, feeling very sorry and sad that my father had turned into ashes and what remained of him was kept in an urn so much smaller than him. What made it worse was that I knew that that was my last contact ‘with him’ because we were heading to Changi Ferry Terminal to take a ferry out to return his ashes to the sea. I felt very sorry and sympathetic that he had chosen to have it done this way. He stated it in his will.
And I dream of him there and then. The last time was about a week ago where in the dream I was seated with him in somewhere that seemed like a living room and he was telling me that he went for stage 4 and 5 chemotherapy, trying to convey to me that he had himself covered from more than serious cancer. He was wearing a navy blue polo-shirt, the one I remember he used to wear when he was alive and also his usual silver framed spectacles. In the dream he looked good.
Sometimes I wonder if it is because I miss him that I have been dreaming about him... or is it that he misses me and he comes to meet me in my dream.. but my sensibility, belief and conviction tell me the latter is not possible though sometimes I wish it is....so that I would not think that I have lost him completely and that occasionally I can still see and meet him in my dreams. However, I can only conclude that the dreams were because I miss him in my subconscious mind.
I knew he doted on me most among the three of us. And I had often wondered if he would have had been supportive of my venture to Cambodia and now India....
I think he would because he had always been very supportive of my endeavours, and that was inclusive of my choice to believe in Jesus. He was also very supportive of my desire to want to learn Taekwondo back then.
My only prayer is that the Lord would give him another chance to choose Him and that he would.
Friday, November 27, 2009
Mussoorie trekking up to my cottage
The top two photos are the views along the way when I go to the market to get fresh vegetables and fruits. Up where I am I can have access to grocery but not fruits and vegetables. The photo with children singing is the children's day celebration in Mussoorie, their children's day is on 14Nov. I have a video of the children dancing but yet to put it up. Ten minutes walk from where I stay, I can see the awesome Himalayan snow capped mountains, no photos at the moment, soon, soon. ; )
Mussoorie, My cottage and Surrounding Scenery
This is the room that I am staying in. It is all in one, bathroom, a tiny kitchen with a small retangular table, a double bed, a three-drawer cupboard and a study table. I love the view outside my cottage! It is 'kitena sundar'! (it means how beautiful in Hindi)
The top two views are the views outside my cottage, how awesome, isn't it!
Friday, November 6, 2009
Mentality Shifting....
Upon arrival at the airport in New Delhi, there were two lanes for ‘foreign passports’ and one of the lanes was placed a sign that said, ‘For Diplomats/Officials’. Naturally I joined the other queue. After about 20 minutes, a father and daughter (they were queuing right in front of me) went forward to the counter together and handed in their passports to the immigration officer and they stood together at the counter waiting. And it was acceptable there to have two people at one counter! I thought it was one person at a time……
They seemed to have some complicated situations where they had to produce different documents from different stacks of documents. And because of that, it took a long time.
After the duo had been at the counter for about ten minutes, a lady behind me (in the same queue as me) told me to go ahead to the other counter (the one that said, ‘for diplomats/officials’) because she said that the duo was having complication and would take a long time. I looked at the counter and told her it was for diplomats and officials but she said that it was alright. She prompted me to get ready and cut in immediately when the counter was available. I said okay, thinking that it was quite a good idea.
As I was waiting and contemplating her suggestion, I wondered about what would the people in the queue for ‘diplomats/officials’ do when they saw me cutting the queue……?!?! Moreover, having been brought up in Singapore, the sign that said, ‘for diplomats/officials’ meant that it was only for diplomats or officials, and I was none of those! I then decided to wait obediently and faithfully behind the complicated duo, like a good Singapore citizen.
It was indeed a long time and while waiting, a man came standing right in front of me, though I was already standing on the yellow line, which is the segregation between the queue and the counter. I was wondering if he was trying to cut my queue or he was trying to cut the other queue on the other side of me that was for ‘Indian passports’. Within about five minutes, a few other men joined in and stood right in front of me, making me the fourth person after the duo. It suddenly struck me that, ‘yes!’ they were cutting my queue!
On hindsight, I ‘bo chap’ and quickly squeezed through these three men and stood right in front of them! I don't know where I got the courage! And with that, I was just about to be facing the immigration officer who was still settling the issues with the father and daughter. Simultaneously, I looked over to the ‘for diplomats/officials’ queue and realized that the lady behind me had gone over to that counter! The immigration officer processed her passport and grumbled that his queue was for diplomats and officials only and she was not any of those. The lady said something and got through! I was thinking inside me, ‘like that also can ah!’ And was brought back to incidents which I encountered in Cambodia which were all ‘like that also can ah!’
As I was running through my thoughts, the immigration officer discovered that the queue had come so near him and made some noise. The people then moved back and I followed suit.
Wow! The Lord was already preparing me to have a mentality shift as soon as I stepped into the airport!
I was very grateful and proud of my country where many things are done in an orderly and prescribed manner. However, I also came to recognise that it has inevitably handicapped me in various ways in foreign countries where things are done in fairly improper manners… but, well, this pushes me to rely on Him.
They seemed to have some complicated situations where they had to produce different documents from different stacks of documents. And because of that, it took a long time.
After the duo had been at the counter for about ten minutes, a lady behind me (in the same queue as me) told me to go ahead to the other counter (the one that said, ‘for diplomats/officials’) because she said that the duo was having complication and would take a long time. I looked at the counter and told her it was for diplomats and officials but she said that it was alright. She prompted me to get ready and cut in immediately when the counter was available. I said okay, thinking that it was quite a good idea.
As I was waiting and contemplating her suggestion, I wondered about what would the people in the queue for ‘diplomats/officials’ do when they saw me cutting the queue……?!?! Moreover, having been brought up in Singapore, the sign that said, ‘for diplomats/officials’ meant that it was only for diplomats or officials, and I was none of those! I then decided to wait obediently and faithfully behind the complicated duo, like a good Singapore citizen.
It was indeed a long time and while waiting, a man came standing right in front of me, though I was already standing on the yellow line, which is the segregation between the queue and the counter. I was wondering if he was trying to cut my queue or he was trying to cut the other queue on the other side of me that was for ‘Indian passports’. Within about five minutes, a few other men joined in and stood right in front of me, making me the fourth person after the duo. It suddenly struck me that, ‘yes!’ they were cutting my queue!
On hindsight, I ‘bo chap’ and quickly squeezed through these three men and stood right in front of them! I don't know where I got the courage! And with that, I was just about to be facing the immigration officer who was still settling the issues with the father and daughter. Simultaneously, I looked over to the ‘for diplomats/officials’ queue and realized that the lady behind me had gone over to that counter! The immigration officer processed her passport and grumbled that his queue was for diplomats and officials only and she was not any of those. The lady said something and got through! I was thinking inside me, ‘like that also can ah!’ And was brought back to incidents which I encountered in Cambodia which were all ‘like that also can ah!’
As I was running through my thoughts, the immigration officer discovered that the queue had come so near him and made some noise. The people then moved back and I followed suit.
Wow! The Lord was already preparing me to have a mentality shift as soon as I stepped into the airport!
I was very grateful and proud of my country where many things are done in an orderly and prescribed manner. However, I also came to recognise that it has inevitably handicapped me in various ways in foreign countries where things are done in fairly improper manners… but, well, this pushes me to rely on Him.
Friday, October 16, 2009
The Lord is good and faithful
In retrospect, the Lord has been preparing me for His work since more than ten years ago. I started to become 'mobile' and independent when I was in my early twenties. First I was out for apartment training with the Navigators for one year. Next it was moving around from place to place every two to three years. And it was 'upgraded' to moving around in last than a year. It was "haiz! moving again, I hate moving!"
And now it is, 'oh... I am moving!' The thought of the hassle has become less intense and more easy going. Last year April I moved from Cambodia to Singapore(Hougang), and in Aug I moved from Hougang to Pasir Ris for three months and moved back to Hougang in November. Just this year, I moved from Hougang in May to Punggol. And in Oct, I moved from Punggol to New Delhi for two nights and then to Mussoorie for three months. After the three months, I'll be moving back to New Delhi. Hmm... looking at all these experiences I know there is this bigger purpose. I know the different people who helped me along the way with the movings and I thank God for them and I appreciate them a lot. And I got to meet and stay with many different people and learn to accept the different styles of living and be adaptable to different people, environment and the amenities in the area and make the most of life. God is good. I see His footprints in all of these. And the most recent ones that are so heartwarming.
I had been visiting public libraries to access internet ever since I moved to Punggol. That has not been a big issue to me because my working hours allowed me to be in the library at non-peak hours. However, it became a slight issue when I had to have attachment to my email. I then had a friend whom I could go to and I accessed internet in her house. There came a time where I felt bad having to go to her house and 'invade' her privacy. Morever the time to go to New Delhi became nearer and I had to access internet much more often. I then asked the Lord for a mobile broadband. I had no idea how He was going to provide but He did!!!
Out of the blue a friend called up to offer me to use her mobile broadband till I leave for New Delhi! I was exhilarated! For one I could have ease of use of internet at home at any time and for another the Lord answered my prayer in such an amazing way!
Another heartwarming event was that the Lord was so detailed that He cared about my concern in bringing cash in stacks! The church admin lady who passed me cash told me that when she was at the bank counter asking for big notes, the lady at the counter told her that there was no big notes that day! She was a little panicky because she was also concerned about the stacks of cash I had to bring with me if all the notes were in $50 notes. Then unexpectedly the person behind her came with the big notes to do a deposit! The lady at the counter then issued those big notes to my church admin lady! Wow! What a blessing!
I went in the bank about twenty minutes later and was in a queue. A customer at a counter about five people ahead of me asked from the counter lady for big notes for she was going to withdraw a big amount. The lady at the counter told the customer that there was no big notes that day, the biggest note that day was $50. Being about five people behind her made me want to leave the bank and head to another bank for big notes. However, something stopped me and caused me to want to pray about it. I prayed and asked the Lord to somehow and somewhere let me have big notes because it will be very cumbersome to have to bring small notes as I already have other currency notes to bring. And when it was my turn to ask for a cheque encashment, I specifically asked the lady (in a counter different from the customer about five people in front of me) for big notes and yes! she had both the big notes I asked for!!!
PRAISE THE LORD! He planned to such a detail for my good and ease of mind and ease of etc etc! Thank you Lord! ; )
And now it is, 'oh... I am moving!' The thought of the hassle has become less intense and more easy going. Last year April I moved from Cambodia to Singapore(Hougang), and in Aug I moved from Hougang to Pasir Ris for three months and moved back to Hougang in November. Just this year, I moved from Hougang in May to Punggol. And in Oct, I moved from Punggol to New Delhi for two nights and then to Mussoorie for three months. After the three months, I'll be moving back to New Delhi. Hmm... looking at all these experiences I know there is this bigger purpose. I know the different people who helped me along the way with the movings and I thank God for them and I appreciate them a lot. And I got to meet and stay with many different people and learn to accept the different styles of living and be adaptable to different people, environment and the amenities in the area and make the most of life. God is good. I see His footprints in all of these. And the most recent ones that are so heartwarming.
I had been visiting public libraries to access internet ever since I moved to Punggol. That has not been a big issue to me because my working hours allowed me to be in the library at non-peak hours. However, it became a slight issue when I had to have attachment to my email. I then had a friend whom I could go to and I accessed internet in her house. There came a time where I felt bad having to go to her house and 'invade' her privacy. Morever the time to go to New Delhi became nearer and I had to access internet much more often. I then asked the Lord for a mobile broadband. I had no idea how He was going to provide but He did!!!
Out of the blue a friend called up to offer me to use her mobile broadband till I leave for New Delhi! I was exhilarated! For one I could have ease of use of internet at home at any time and for another the Lord answered my prayer in such an amazing way!
Another heartwarming event was that the Lord was so detailed that He cared about my concern in bringing cash in stacks! The church admin lady who passed me cash told me that when she was at the bank counter asking for big notes, the lady at the counter told her that there was no big notes that day! She was a little panicky because she was also concerned about the stacks of cash I had to bring with me if all the notes were in $50 notes. Then unexpectedly the person behind her came with the big notes to do a deposit! The lady at the counter then issued those big notes to my church admin lady! Wow! What a blessing!
I went in the bank about twenty minutes later and was in a queue. A customer at a counter about five people ahead of me asked from the counter lady for big notes for she was going to withdraw a big amount. The lady at the counter told the customer that there was no big notes that day, the biggest note that day was $50. Being about five people behind her made me want to leave the bank and head to another bank for big notes. However, something stopped me and caused me to want to pray about it. I prayed and asked the Lord to somehow and somewhere let me have big notes because it will be very cumbersome to have to bring small notes as I already have other currency notes to bring. And when it was my turn to ask for a cheque encashment, I specifically asked the lady (in a counter different from the customer about five people in front of me) for big notes and yes! she had both the big notes I asked for!!!
PRAISE THE LORD! He planned to such a detail for my good and ease of mind and ease of etc etc! Thank you Lord! ; )
Sunday, May 31, 2009
Stretching Your Potential
My friend is someone who is very particular about the toilet. Whenever she goes on a tour, she makes sure that she gets a hotel room with at least 3star standard and no matter how bugetted she wants her travelling to be, she makes sure there is an attached toilet in her room, even if it is just for a night.
I was very happy and thankful when she agreed to come with me to India for a week. The toilet in the train is indescribable….. I mean the stench. With some form of tolerance that I have built up over the years in ‘rough’ travelling, I too could not take the stench of the toilet. For several times I almost vomited. I was apprehensive for my friend and thinking of what ‘responsibility’ was I to take to help her…….?
Thank God my friend’s first trip to the toilet was ok, somehow there wasn’t much smell, thank God she could take it. It was in the morning that she wanted to go to the toilet again but she did not wake me up, and to my pleasant surprise, she went on her own and she did fine! I was really impressed by how much her potential can be stretched.
Besides the toilet, the train was delayed for five hours! We were stranded in the train station, with not much food left because we were expecting to sleep in the night during the train ride and wake up the next morning to go back home. In addition, the train station was barely a train station with only a shop that sells some dry food and drinks; and we had to stay in an indoor non-airconditioned waiting room and this is the summer time!
Yet we survived! We spent 24 hours travelling. I am amazed my friend did not complain much.
“….. with my God I can scale a wall” (Ps 18:29b)
How much are you willing to let God stretch your potential? ; )
I was very happy and thankful when she agreed to come with me to India for a week. The toilet in the train is indescribable….. I mean the stench. With some form of tolerance that I have built up over the years in ‘rough’ travelling, I too could not take the stench of the toilet. For several times I almost vomited. I was apprehensive for my friend and thinking of what ‘responsibility’ was I to take to help her…….?
Thank God my friend’s first trip to the toilet was ok, somehow there wasn’t much smell, thank God she could take it. It was in the morning that she wanted to go to the toilet again but she did not wake me up, and to my pleasant surprise, she went on her own and she did fine! I was really impressed by how much her potential can be stretched.
Besides the toilet, the train was delayed for five hours! We were stranded in the train station, with not much food left because we were expecting to sleep in the night during the train ride and wake up the next morning to go back home. In addition, the train station was barely a train station with only a shop that sells some dry food and drinks; and we had to stay in an indoor non-airconditioned waiting room and this is the summer time!
Yet we survived! We spent 24 hours travelling. I am amazed my friend did not complain much.
“….. with my God I can scale a wall” (Ps 18:29b)
How much are you willing to let God stretch your potential? ; )
Tuesday, January 13, 2009
Jesus Loves Me This I Know
Jesus Loves me this I know
For the bible tells me so
Little ones to Him belong
They are weak but He is strong
Yes, Jesus loves me
Yes, Jesus loves me
Yes, Jesus loves me
The bible tells me so
Jesus Loves me when I am good
When I do the things I should
Jesus loves me when I am bad
But it makes Him very sad
Yes, Jesus loves me
Yes, Jesus loves me
Yes, Jesus loves me
The bible tells me so
I love Jesus, does He know?
Have I ever told Him so?
Jesus loves to hear me say
That I love Him everyday
Yes, I love Jesus
Yes, I love Jesus
Yes, I love Jesus
My life will tell Him so.
For the bible tells me so
Little ones to Him belong
They are weak but He is strong
Yes, Jesus loves me
Yes, Jesus loves me
Yes, Jesus loves me
The bible tells me so
Jesus Loves me when I am good
When I do the things I should
Jesus loves me when I am bad
But it makes Him very sad
Yes, Jesus loves me
Yes, Jesus loves me
Yes, Jesus loves me
The bible tells me so
I love Jesus, does He know?
Have I ever told Him so?
Jesus loves to hear me say
That I love Him everyday
Yes, I love Jesus
Yes, I love Jesus
Yes, I love Jesus
My life will tell Him so.
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